I like long walks in a bog, typing with an ironic accent and violent folk dancing.
My Parents was the same way....As long as we did not get caught all is well.
Sometimes the school would not call him because I would be so scared.....
On another bully story. This is getting way out of hand.
Police tell woman to move. Quote: “He just looked at me and said ‘You should move’,”
Vanessa Disbrowe did exactly what we’re all told to do.
She stood up to a young bully picking on an even younger child in a park near her Toronto home. But that act, and the assault that followed, has changed her life.
And when she and her husband turned to the police, they were told by an officer that they should move because they couldn’t help them.
Disbrowe said she and a friend tried to step in last March and help stop bullying they saw going on in their neighbourhood.
For that Disbrowe said she was attacked by who girl who she says stood 5-foot-5 and weighted about 200 pounds. When police were called they did nothing, she said.
Still desperate for help, Disbrowe’s husband Sam was talking to a Toronto police officer on paid duty at a construction site he was working at several months after the incident. He explained their problem and received shocking advice.
“He just looked at me and said ‘You should move’,” Sam said. “I looked at the guy and said, ‘You’ve got to be kidding. Your answer to someone assaulting my wife and my child is that we should move because you guys can’t do anything about it?’”
Sam said the officer told him 31 Division is swamped with higher priority investigations and with the girl being a young offender it would be hard to press charges.
The whole incident has left the couple questioning if the all the anti-bullying rhetoric you hear these days has any meaning if police aren’t willing to back up people stepping in to stop bullies, Disbrowe said.
“Because I knew the youth I wanted to do something,” said the 27-year-old mother of four. “But I don’t know if I was put in the situation again now, after what has happened, with the lack of action, if I would do it again.”
The trouble started for Disbrowe when she and her children were at Driftwood Park close to their Tobermory Dr. home in the Jane-Finch area in March. Disbrowe and a friend noticed a nine-year-old neighbourhood girl being picked on by a larger girl who she believes was older.
“We told her, you shouldn’t be bullying her ... We were just trying to get through to her. She wasn’t hearing it. She started swearing at us and cussing us off.”
Disbrowe started to disengage from the conversation when she said her friend told the girl, “Just because you live in Jane and Finch doesn’t mean you have to be a statistic.”
“(The girl) paused for about five seconds,” Disbrowe said. “Then she picked up a handful of sand and threw it at me. She knocked me to the ground and started punching me.”
Disbrowe, who had her 10-month-old daughter in her arms, managed to hand her off to a neighbour who came to her aid. Then she wrapped her arms around the girl’s legs and said she yelled for bystanders to call the police.
Disbrowe said the girl bit her left arm, breaking the skin and drawing blood.
When she heard people calling 911, she let go of the girl who subsequently walked away with her friends. The police arrived moments later as Disbrowe pursued the girl, not wanting her to get away.
“While the story was being told (to police) she was sitting there, mocking us with her friends,” she said. “The police said there was nothing they could really do. Our stories sounded the same until the assault happens and that’s when it gets different.”
They told Disbrowe she could press charges if police didn’t. The officers then said they were going to drive the girl home and talk to her parents. Disbrowe was taken to the hospital to treat the cuts above her eye, split lip and the bite wound on her arm.
She sported a swollen black eye for a week after the incident. But Disbrowe’s anxiety over the attack continued.
“It got to the point I couldn’t go outside,” she said. “I’d see the girl on the street. Nothing was happening to her. She still seemed happy riding her bike and doing her thing.”
Tormented by memories of the attack and with the officer’s advice in mind, Disbrowe applied for a late transfer from her criminology studies at York University and was accepted by the University of Western Ontario in London.
She and Sam picked up their family and moved. Sam is now out of work and they are struggling financially.
“It’s screwed up a lot of things. We’ve gone through all of our savings. But it’s the (police) inaction that really bugs me. I’ve called so many times.”
see, that's just it, back in my day the cops would detain me and have the parents come to the police station to collect me....and they'd get told: if we pick him up again, there's going to be charges laid....and I'd be in handcuffs.....not "driven home"....
Yeah, the new legislation should include "arrest and charge the bully, no matter what the age".......FFS, this is ridiculous...but you probably can't blame the police, they've probably tried and the "crown" probably never wanted to press charges...I mean, if we let serious criminals off, what would they do to a bully? (probably give him free counselling, a new wardrobe, and a boost in welfare....
ask me about the T experience!!!
Although Kody Maxson was not Amanda Todd's tormentor, he is an accused sexual predator. Justin Hitchings did a dastardly thing not only demeaning Amanda Todd after death but also her family will know that the torment continues.
Kudos to the ladies from Calgary, they took action. As for the company terminating Justin Hitchings, they are well within their right to do so for 'code of ethics violations and company standards". A large majority of employers require employees to read and sign off on their policies and procedures manuals and sign code of ethics and confidentiality contracts. If Hitchings had work information on his facebook page, that's violent the contracts he signed grounds for termination. If Hitchings violates any code of conduct clauses, that's grounds for termination. The company got right in front of this and basically told all their employees "don't do it". Good for them!
As for any level of government actually curtailing this problem, it just will not happen. What could be beneficial is incarceration of such offenders and that can be a negative as well because criminals get educated by criminals. It's a grass-roots problem, many Canadian Universities have studied, created clinical programs and facilitated large events on how to stop bullying; it's easier said than done especially if the person being bullied doesn't have the fortitude to tell someone or seek assistance.
IMO, there are bullies in every aspect of life, the extent will be different and sadly it will never change again IMO. Television, Movies, Social Networks all portray bullies. Some examples: The breakfast club, Pretty in Pink, Boys in the hood, Back to the future, The Program, School Ties, even television shows such as happy days and the list goes on and on. It is rare that a television goes on where there is not bullying; it's part of the conflicting drama that many want to see and these situations usually end well because they aren't real. In professional sports, bullying happens all the time, they call it taunting and get a penalty but impressionable fans emulate these actions. Reality television and these shows with children toddlers/tiaras, dance-moms, there is bullying from the parents, coaches and children.
As long as their is hierarchy system or survival of the strongest idea, it is going to be common place. If you have a job and you are forced to do overtime, that's bullying because you don't have a choice. Remember all those WSIB commercials that were vivid, well if you are placed into an unsafe work situation by an employer that is not part of your work or faulty equipment, you are being bullied.
I have a friend and his daughter was bullied so badly at school, facebook, twitter, and other outlets and he and his wife took along time before asking my professional opinion, and they tried all avenues contacting the school, doctor, psychologist, police even contacting the other parents and meeting with the families all to no avail. It caused a serious rift between husband/wife and three older children all in their 20s. It got to the point that she became bulimic, began cutting, running away, stealing and attemted suicide twice - once was a close call in her closet. My friend who is incredibly intelligent but messed up with thinking that there had to be a way he could fix this for her and finally asked me what I thought. I said, "our you two seriously going to listen to me?" They answered yes.
I asked them to listen with open minds because they weren't going to like what was coming. Have you ever thought that she may have sexually assaulted? It hits the fan! No way not my child, she would tell us. I asked, "Would she?" They asked, "How do we approach her?" You don't! You let me ask the question because it's gone too far and nobody has asked this. If she gets mad, it's not at you and she may be more forth-coming because I won't react either way.
Well 20+ years working with inmates of all ages, genders and cultures-both criminals and mentally ill, I've learned signs and symptoms. I asked her if she cuts because she wants to make herself unattractive and the flood gates opened. I was correct, there were images being passed around just as she was passed around. 3 youth offenders were charged and convicted, the tide turned. She went to another Province to finish high-school and lived with family. She's returned works full time in sales, has a boyfriend but there may always be some issues for her; however, for now, she's winning the battle.
Tboy, you and I agree completely on these topics. Anyone can make a child, there is no license required unfortunately. The cops aren't the problem; it's the politicians that are. It is also babies having babies that don't have the skills to teach them. It's the extremely spoiled where the parents aren't interested in them. I feel badly for single moms that try to keep it together, working long hours or multiple jobs to make ends meet.
I just don't see this changing in my lifetime and it's one of the reasons I don't want children. It's not necessarily what they may do; it's worrying what may be done to them. Frankly that is the only thing that I'm afraid of in life.
A man has been arrested in the Netherlands in connection with the online bullying of Amanda Todd, the B.C. teen who killed herself in October 2012.
Officials at the Dutch Embassy have confirmed media reports that a 35-year-old man was taken into custody in January and made his first court appearance Wednesday.
An embassy official said the man is accused of being behind the harassment and bullying of a 15-year-old girl from B.C., but would not confirm the alleged victim was Todd.
The Dutch media organizationOmroep Brabant published the news today, and identified Todd as the victim in a story published Thursday.
The man, who has not been identified, allegedly told the girl to undress in front of a webcam, which she did, and then he saved those images to try to blackmail her.
The man who lived in the Netherlands was transient.
So glad to hear they caught him. Let's hope the case makes it through court in a timely fashion so her family can have some closure.
Amanda Todd case: Dutch suspect may have targeted other Canadian children
It was the Amanda Todd case in the media in October 2012, that helped me to identify and define what was happening to me. I started a blog yesterday morning to address the cyberbullying situation in my own life, then saw the news conference on TV shortly after.
(CNN)Bullying can be defined by many things. It's teasing, name-calling, stereotyping, fighting, exclusion, spreading rumors, public shaming and aggressive intimidation. It can be in person and online. But it can no longer be considered a rite of passage that strengthens character, new research suggests.
Adolescents who are bullied by their peers actually suffer from worse long-term mental health effects than children who are maltreated by adults, based on a study published last week in The Lancet Psychiatry.
The findings were a surprise to Dr. Dieter Wolke and his team that led the study, who expected the two groups to be similarly affected. However, because children tend to spend more time with their peers, it stands to reason that if they have negative relationships with one another, the effects could be severe and long-lasting, he said. They also found that children maltreated by adults were more likely to be bullied.
The researchers discovered that children who were bullied are more likely to suffer anxiety, depression and consider self-harm and suicide later in life.
While all children face conflict, disagreements between friends can usually be resolved in some way. But the repetitive nature of bullying is what can cause such harm, Wolke said.
"Bullying is comparable to a scenario for a caged animal," he said. "The classroom is a place where you're with people you didn't choose to be with, and you can't escape them if something negative happens."
Children can internalize the harmful effects of bullying, which creates stress-related issues such as anxiety and depression, or they can externalize it by turning from a victim to a bully themselves. Either way, the result has a painful impact.
The study also concluded with a call to action, suggesting that while the government has justifiably focused on addressing maltreatment and abuse in the home, they should also consider bullying as a serious problem that requires schools, health services and communities to prevent, respond to or stop this abusive culture from forming.
"It's a community problem,"
Wolke said. "Physicians don't ask about bullying. Health professionals, educators and legislation could provide parents with medical and social resources. We all need to be trained to ask about peer relationships."
Stopping bullying in schools
Division and misunderstanding are some of the motivations behind bullying because they highlight differences. If children don't understand those differences, they can form negative associations, said Johanna Eager, director for the Human Rights Campaign Foundation's Welcoming Schools program.
Programs such as Welcoming Schools, for kindergarten through fifth grade, and Not in Our School, a movement for kindergarten through high school, want to help teachers, parents and children to stop a culture of bullying from taking hold in a school or community.
They offer lesson plans, staff training and speakers for schools, as well as events for parents.
Welcoming Schools is focused on helping children embrace diversity and overcome stereotypes at a young age. It's the best place to start to prevent damaging habits that could turn into bullying by middle school or high school.
6 ways to embrace gender differences at school
The lesson plans aim to help teachers and students by encouraging that our differences are positive aspects rather than negatives, whether it be in appearance, gender or religion, Eager said. They are also designed to help teachers lead discussions and answer tough questions that might come up.
Teachable moments present themselves in these classrooms daily, and Welcoming Schools offers resources to navigate those difficult moments. If they are prepared, teachers can address it and following up with a question.
They cover questions from "Why do you think it's wrong for a boy to wear pink?" and "What does it mean to be gay or lesbian?" to "Would you be an ally or a bystander if someone was picking on your friend?" and "Why does it hurt when someone says this?"
Welcoming Schools is present in more than 30 states, working with about 500 schools and 115 districts.
Not in Our School has the same mission to create identity-safe school climates that encourage acceptance. They want to help build empathy in students and encourage them to become "upstanders" rather than bystanders.
Their lesson plans and videos, viewed by schools across the country, include teaching students about how to safely intervene in a situation, reach out to a trusted adult, befriend a bullied child or be an activist against bullying. While the role of teachers, counselors and resource officers will always be important, peer-to-peer relationships make a big difference, said Becki Cohn-Vargas, director of Not in Our Schools.
These positive practices can help build self-esteem and don't focus on punishing bullies because the emphasis is on restorative justice: repairing harm and helping children and teens to change their aggressive behavior.
But it can't be up to the schools alone.
"What's really important is getting the public and the medical world to recognize bullying for what it is -- a serious issue," Cohn-Vargas said.
#IWishMyTeacherKnew shares students' heartbreak, hopes
A global problem
Bullying, the study suggests, is a global issue. It is particularly prevalent in countries where there are rigid class divisions between higher and lower income families, Wolke said.
Dr. Tracy Vaillancourt, a University of Ottawa professor and Canada Research Chair for Children's Mental Health and Violence Prevention, believes that defining bullying can help in how we address it. Look at it as a behavior that causes harm, rather than normal adolescent behavior, she said.
Role models should also keep a close eye on their own behavior, she said. Sometimes, adults can say or do things in front of their children that mimic aggressive behavior, such gossiping, demeaning others, encouraging their children to hit back or allowing sibling rivalry to escalate into something more harmful.
Parents, beware of bullying on sites you've never seen
"We tend to admire power," Vaillancourt said. "But we also tend to abuse power, because we don't talk about achieving power in an appropriate way. Bullying is part of the human condition, but that doesn't make it right. We should be taking care of each other. "
The study compared young adults in the United States and the United Kingdom who were maltreated and bullied in childhood. Data was collected from two separate studies, comparing 4,026 participants from the Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children in the UK and 1,273 participants from the Great Smoky Mountain Study in the U.S.
The UK data looked at maltreatment from the ages of 8 weeks to 8.6 years, bullying at ages 8, 10 and 13 and the mental health effects at age 18. The U.S. study presented data on bullying and maltreatment between the ages of 9 and 16, and the mental health effects from ages 19 to 25.